My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands
By Chelsea Handler

Product Description

 

In this raucous collection of true-life stories, actress and comedian Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.

You’ve either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend’s irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.

Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won’t be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

 

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Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #52 in Books
• Published on: 2005-06-06
• Released on: 2005-05-12
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 213 pages

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Editorial Reviews

Review
“Offbeat and laugh-out-loud-funny essays… smart, funny, and quick read.”
(Library Journal Review )

“Where have I been all of Chelsea Handler’s life? I had no idea how funny, how brilliant she is…she is too clever for words.”
(Liz Smith New York Post )

In a word: hilarious. In two: absolutely hilarious. These are some of the funniest stories I have ever read and they”re also some of the most unexpectedly heartfelt.”
(Laura Zigman, author of Animal Husbandry, Dating Big Bird, and Her )

“Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer.”
(Jay Leno )

“This book is no-holds-barred hilarious.”
(Jennifer Weiner, author of In Her Shoes and Little Earthquakes )

“[Chelsea] just might be funnier than David Sedaris.”
(Dallas Observer )

“Prime reading material for anyone looking to laugh their hiney off.”
(About.com )

About the Author
Chelsea Handler was born in Livingston, New Jersey, and has toured the country doing stand-up. Now settled in Los Angeles, she can be seen at the Comedy Store and the Laugh Factory, and as one of the stars on Oxygen’s Girls Behaving Badly. Chelsea has guest-starred on programs such as Spy TV, My Wife and Kids, The Bernie Mac Show, and The Practice. Her stand-up will soon be televised on VH1’s Love Lounge, Comedy Central’s Premium Blend, and HBO’s broadcast of the Aspen Comedy Festival.

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Customer Reviews

Good, but not her best.
I actually read Chelsea’s second book, Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea, before I read this (her first book). After reading AYT,V?IM,C, I had high expectations for this book. To be honest, it did not live up to my expectations. After a few of the essays, it got better, but it never got as good as AYT,V?IM,C. I still enjoyed it, but you should read this one first, then read the other one.

Chelsea is a great writer, and I hope she continues to put out books. I have never read books as funny as her’s.

Have a laugh
Chelsea Handler’s book is really funny although I think I like the new one better. She has a lot of laugh out loud moments and I would recommend it to any of her fans.

Funny at times
This book had it’s funny parts. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I laughed aloud a couple times. Easy to read in an afternoon, but not quite as memorable as other memoirists.
David Sedaris, who writes memoirs is the master. And If you like knarly memoir humor, Laurie Notaro is excellent.

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If…, Volume 3: (Questions for the Game of Love)

If…, Volume 3: (Questions for the Game of Love)
By Evelyn McFarlane, James Saywell

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #48947 in Books
• Published on: 1997-10-28
• Released on: 1997-10-28
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 144 pages

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Customer Reviews

Great for parties
I got this book to bring to an all girls party and man did it get conversations going. Every group of gals need one to get a laugh and an insight into your friends’ lives.

This book should be titled “Questions For the Game of Sex”
I was shocked by most of the questions.

For example:
If you had to watch your lover or spouse have sex with someone else, but could determine who it would be, who would you choose?

If you could have sex with one pagan god, which would it be?

I don’t consider myself a prude by any means but I feel this book is immoral and dangerous to anyone in a monogamous relationship.

I returned it!

Don’t Start A Relationship Without It!
The third in the “If” series of question books, this little ditty is all about love and relationship ethics. Would you? Could you? Will you? A perfect gift for anyone just starting out in one of those questionable relationships! Imagine the insight into a persons values in a few innocent yet thought provoking questions. Another benefit to this book is that it is a perfect way to break the ice about all those pet-peeves you might have in the bedroom, just answer the question and hope someone is listening! Hours of fun that might save you years of heartache.

Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life (Masterminds Series)

Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life (Masterminds Series)
By Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Part psychological study, part self-help book, Finding Flow is a prescriptive guide that helps us reclaim ownership of our lives. Based on a far-reaching study of thousands of individuals, Finding Flow contends that we often walk through our days unaware and out of touch with our emotional lives. Our inattention makes us constantly bounce between two extremes: during much of the day we live filled with the anxiety and pressures of our work and obligations, while during our leisure moments, we tend to live in passive boredom. The key, according to Csikszentmihalyi, is to challenge ourselves with tasks requiring a high degree of skill and commitment. Instead of watching television, play the piano. Transform a routine task by taking a different approach. In short, learn the joy of complete engagement. Thought they appear simple, the lessons in Finding Flow are life-altering.

Are You Ready to Succeed? Unconventional Strategies to Achieving Personal Mastery in Business and Life

Are You Ready to Succeed? Unconventional Strategies to Achieving Personal Mastery in Business and Life
By Srikumar S. Rao

The premise is simple: A persons ideal life, especially their career, can be carefully conceived and crafted. Based on Dr. Raos popular course Creativity and Personal Mastery at Columbia Universitys Graduate School of Business, this book offers a series of readings, exercises, and lessons drawn from both spiritual and commercial situations that enable you to reconstruct and improve your professional world. This transformation will turn your life around and help you become exponentially more effective in your chosen career and thereby flourish in all aspects of your life. Whether you are questioning the value of money or the core values of your life, this book is a powerful tool that will help you to discover the purpose that can suffuse your life and bring stars to your eyes.

Customer Reviews

Practical, Effective, Transformative
Excellent exercises to re-think one’s current life and work situation. Carried through, these lessons can have a profound impact on those struggling with serenity and purpose.

Practical mental exercises to improve your attitude and make you happier
Before enlightenment, chop wood carry water.
After enlightenment, chop wood carry water.*

I read the book’s title as meaning “You’re successful, are you ready for that?” rather than “Do you want to succeed?” emphasizing the word “ready”. And just as reaching enlightenment does not obviate the need to perform the more mundane chores of life, being ready to succeed does not obviate earning a living or making friends. You can do both but if you’re not ready to see your success, you won’t realize that you are successful and you won’t be as happy as you could be.

Rao only indirectly writes about increasing the material and social markers of success, i.e. how wealthy you are or how many friends you have. He stresses that we need to give less importance to these markers and to appreciate what we already have. (And when adversity strikes, we should appreciate that it wasn’t worse.) Success breeds success but only if you nurture it properly and that’s what he writes about.

Rao’s techniques are simple and effective. He first gives examples of what he calls mental models, or predetermined thinking patterns. For example when you are preparing for meetings you always assume that people will argue with you, this predetermined pattern in which you think is a negative mental model. Rao wants us to become conscious of our mental models, especially the negative ones. Next he wants us to detach ourselves from them. He has us create an imaginary friend, who’s actually not a friend but an unbiased observer. We’re to imagine this friend to describe what we’re saying or thinking.

Rao offers many more exercises, with the later exercises building on the earlier ones. The best thing about “Are you Ready to Succeed?” is that the exercises are practical and not too New Age-ish.

Vincent Poirier, Dublin
*Thanks to Eric for the “Buddhist saying”. VP

Get on the Bandwagon!
For all of those people who bought Eat Pray and Love with the notion that it would change their lives, buy this book! Srikumar Rao’s gentle introductions and guided exercises allow you to contemplate what you want to change in your life and actually work at doing it. I was amazed at the changes I noticed in my thinking and my life in the space of a few months. Do not rush through this book. Let it guide you to finding the real you.

 

The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles

 

The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles
By Steven Pressfield

DO YOU:-+dream about writing the Great American Novel?-+regret not finishing your paintings, poems, or screenplays?-+want to start a business or charity?-+wish you could start dieting or exercising today?-+hope to run a marathon someday?If “yes,” then you need#133;THE WAR OF ARTNow, in this powerful, straight-from-the-hip examination of the internal obstacles to success, bestselling author Steven Pressfield shows readers how to identify, defeat, and unlock the inner barriers to creativity. THE WAR OF ART is an inspirational, funny, well-aimed kick in the pants guaranteed to galvanize every would-be artist, visionary, or entrepreneur.Steven Pressfield enjoys great international success as a bestselling novelist.But in order to reach the top he had to do a lot of work to fight the inner demons that told him he couldn’t make it.THE WAR OF ART is his challenge to creative block, and his succinct, straight-from-the-hip style will help every reader unleash their personal ambitions, be they literary, artistic, or business-minded.According to Pressfield, the internal obstacle to success is Resistance.Resistance is the difference between the life you lead and the life you want to lead, and can take many forms.Pressfield shows readers how to identify and defeat Resistance at every turn and challenges them to change their amateurish, unsuccessful habits into a professional attitude that can get the job done. Finally, Sun Tzu for the soul!Inspirational, funny, and a great kick in the pants, THE WAR OF ART is the perfect book for anybody who had a goal circumvented by life and circumstance:which is to say, you and everybody you’ve ever met.